I swear my whole life has surrounded this question. I spent most of my childhood in Atlanta, but I lived in England until I was four. My mom’s family is almost entirely in England (except for the bits in Canada, who left Hong Kong). My dad’s is entirely in Australia, where I live now. For the past few years, I’ve wanted to work in film production in some aspect, so after I graduate from my university in Melbourne, I’ll probably end up living in LA.
That’s five countries, and I don’t even know how many cities. My heart is in every single one of those places.
As much as I loved growing up as a transnational kid, flying around the world to visit my family, I think I started resenting it when I was a teenager. I remember my wish was always to have my entire family in one room. But I don’t think I’ll ever have that, not even at my wedding. It’s just not realistic.
More than just physically though, my heart is with the people I miss and love. It’s with my mom and my best friends Codi, Callie, Kerie and Erin (and Erin’s mama and daddy) in Atlanta, it’s with my dog Brownie, it’s with my best friend David in Houston, it’s in LA with Michael, in England with my Auntie Sammy and Annie, and my cousins. It’s everywhere. And sometimes that’s exhausting because constantly missing so many people takes a lot out of you, when you think about it, which you can’t help but doing. Of course it’s worth it, because with missing people comes loving them, and in most cases being loved in return. I’ve got a lot of love, from all around the world.
I don’t have the same tight knit circle I had in Atlanta here in Melbourne. In Atlanta, there was always someone waiting up for me when I got home, or asking about my day. In Melbourne, my dad and I pass like ships in the night more often than not. I’m working my ass off at school, and working two jobs plus an internship. I’m anchored to my ambition like it’s my last lifeline. I have friends, and I love them, but we’re all so busy that it’s not the same. I’m constantly working towards graduation and moving to LA with my best friend, and that will be amazing. Right now, that’s the dream, so a lot of my heart goes into that.
Can you really answer where your heart is? If this is my answer, then I either have multiple hearts or I’ve broken the one I have into a million pieces.
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Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
